Newburgh firefighter performs delicate operation to save man's penis – RecordOnline.com – The Times Herald Record

Michael Collins — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:26:59 +0000

A Newburgh firefighter became an ad hoc surgeon Friday, called upon to use a pneumatic saw to cut a piece of steel pipe off a 73-year-old man’s penis.

You’ve got to be asking yourself — as I am — just what the fuck is going on here?

Is it a penis-pump gone awry?

Some sort of lengthening apparatus? Torsion?

Who the fuck knows, but I can only imaging the paperwork after that call:

Hospital staff prepared the man, who was unidentified, by wrapping the skin and sliding a lubricated tongue depressor between the pipe and the man’s penis to protect him. A doctor, nurses and a paramedic gathered in the Emergency Room as a firefighter – “one of the new guys” – prepared to begin the operation.

“Just don’t cut it off,” the senior citizen reportedly said. [Ed.: emphasis mine.]

Apparently Firefighters chose a “wizzer saw” (you can’t make this shit up).

The wizzer saw emptied the first bottle of air and then a second. Finally, after five air bottles, the saw clipped through the final bit of pipe, and they were able to free the man. He was apparently unharmed by the operation, Mandoske said, although the assistant chief didn’t press for details.

Newburgh firefighter performs delicate operation to save man’s penis – RecordOnline.com – The Times Herald Record

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Size Really Does Matter » emergency room

Newburgh firefighter performs delicate operation to save man's penis – RecordOnline.com – The Times Herald Record